Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I'll Sing You a Song - RactalFece



Post a video or send me a link to a video (john@totalvom.com) and I'll sing you a song to help you with your doomed suffering.

Monday, September 29, 2008

ZOMG!!! Soulja Boy Wants To Make Games!!

Rap impressario Soulja Boy is our greatest national resource. The platinum selling artist has renewed the hopes of a nation with his inspirational "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" song and probably some other songs as well. Now that he's both captured the pop charts and superman'ed dat ho, He wants to make video games!

According to the video below on JoyStiq, Soulja Boy says he "Wants to get into things like video game design and web site design." He also wants to go to college, but he sadly "can't experience that right now because I'm a superstar."

Soulja Boy also pronounces Barack Obama's name as "Barack Obamo," which is cool. XD




Source

Space Experts Plead With UN For Asteroid Plan

In an address to the UN recently, the Association of Space Explorers pleaded with the international body of leaders to develop an asteroid impact plan so that if we see one coming, the world can pool its resources and come up with an answer before it strikes.

Sure, it's been 65 million years since an impact supposedly removed the friendly and cuddly creatures known as the dinosaurs, and just recently there was talk about the Apophis asteroid, which in 2004 was said to have a 1 in 37 chance of hitting the earth. It was later refuted with more research but it is certainly a reality that we may need to face someday.

NASA is watching 209 "near earth objects" and the advancement of telescope technology is moving at such a clip as to create newer and better ways to survey the sky for moving objects. Still, Astronaut Rusty Schweickart of the Apollo 9 mission stated that, "Until we have a response in place, we're as vulnerable as the dinosaurs."

Source: Discovermagazine.com

'Guitar Hero' Studio Won't Allow Covers


If you're waiting for Guitar Hero World Tour to come out at the end of October because you plan on using the game's studio feature to create and share covers of your favorite rock songs, sorry, man. It's not going to happen.

It's simple really, since you don't own the rights to the songs, you can't record a version for distribution on Guitar Hero World Tour. You'll just have to work on your own material.

Here's Activision's Brian Bright explaining to 1up.com:

"We'll be actively monitoring the site. And, obviously, if the copyright holder
complains, Activision will pull it down immediately. We can't condone people
putting up covers of music. It's really there for original content."

Bright also touches on some abandoned ideas that would have been awesome, including a huge drum solo feature where skin-bangers could rock-out impromptu in the middle of songs, and "Jam Over " where you could play over any of the songs in the game's music studio.

Guitar Hero World Tour comes out on the PS2, PS3, 360, PC, and Wii on October 26th.

Source: 1up.com

Friday, September 26, 2008

A-Space: A social network for spies

Agents for the CIA, FBI, and National Security Agency are testing a social networking site designed for use by analysts within the 16 U.S. intelligence agencies, according to a report on CNN's Web site. Instead of posting thoughts on music and movies, the agents use the site -- called A-Space -- to share information on terrorist activities and troop movements around the world.
"It's every bit Facebook and YouTube for spies, but it's much, much more," Michael Wertheimer, assistant deputy director of National Intelligence for Analysis, told CNN. "It's a place where not only spies can meet but share data they've never been able to share before. This is going to give them for the first time a chance to think out loud, think in public amongst their peers, under the protection of an A-Space umbrella."
The information posted to the new social network is highly classified and won't be accessible by the general public, CNN reported. Access will be limited to intelligence personnel with the proper security clearance and a reason to be examining particular information. A-Space's creators don't want the network to become a gold mine of sensitive information for future double agents.

Full article: http://tech.msn.com/news/articlecnet.aspx?cp-documentid=10479847&GT1=40000
Source: CNET, MSN

Um... what?

The Virginia-based nonprofit group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants Ben & Jerry's to consider using human breast milk instead of cow's milk in their products saying it would reduce the suffering of cows and calves and give ice cream lovers a healthier product.

Sources: The Associated Press & MSNBC

Read the full article to believe it: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26892950/wid/11915773?GT1=31037

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Douche Off - BaratsAndBereta

It's a race to the bottom as two douche-bags battle for douche supremacy.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Obvious fairy is obvious

Clay Aiken admits to being gay.
One of the many articles that I'm sure will touch upon this "news" : http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx/?news=331936&GT1=28102&silentchk=1&

Nite Fite: Episode 12 "Wing Touch"



Tonite Penalty and Lloyd leave the studio to dip themselves into the Iron Man Wing Touch challenge at Sparky's Wing Zone. No napkin can clean this saucy hotness off!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I am currently being represented by this individual.

CHICAGO - An attorney has been suspended for more than a year for accepting nude dances from a stripper as partial payment for the legal fees she owed him.

Erwin, who practices in the northern Illinois city of DeKalb, and his client mutually agreed that she'd perform nude dances for him in his office as a way to reduce her legal fees, the commission's report said. He credited her for $534 toward his bill for services of various legal matters, the report said.

While she agreed to the performances, the client contended he touched her inappropriately during those dances, and she went to police in 2002 with sexual assault allegations.

Source: The Associated Press, MSNBC

Full Article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26796928/?GT1=43001

Choose Your Own Adventure YouTube Style!

Dammnit!!! I seriously came up with this idea with Greg Gallows a couple months ago. Eh well... early bird and all that...


PS- If you recognize the individual, that's Nate. One of the finalists from TV's Beauty & the Geek.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy



The genius that is Seth MacFarlane has decided to do weekly episodes that can only be seen to be laughed at. SUBSCRIBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/user/SethComedy

Hope Likes It!

So do I... my favorite song of the week:

Your Vegas - In My Head

30 Rock's latest celebrity guest star... OPRAH!

Back in April, when Tina Fey was gearing up for the return of "30 Rock" after the writers strike, she had one dream guest star on her mind.

"I still want Oprah to play my best friend," she said then. "I feel like I haven't -- I want to spend time with Oprah, and I don't know what I need to do to make that happen."


Fey must have figured it out, because Winfrey has now made a guest appearance on the show, and NBC has scheduled the episode for Nov. 6. That's one week after the "30 Rock's" season premiere.

Winfrey filmed her long-buzzed-about guest spot over the weekend in New York. Details on just what Winfrey will be doing on the show are scant, though Fey says Oprah "was very funny."

Source(s): Zap2it.com, MSN TV News
Full article: 1=28103">http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx/?news=331276>1=28103

'Metal Gear Solid Existence' Emerges

Hinting on another title featuring the legendary soldier, a new project named Metal Gear Solid Existence emerged from Konami's trademark database.

According to SiliconEra, Konami has also registered the title Existence alone, without the Metal Gear Solid 4 precursor. Just like Kojima's masterpieces, very little is known about this project, but it may indicate an unveiling at this year's Tokyo Game Show, starting this October 9 through 12. Perhaps Existence could point to yet another Metal Gear Solid title expansion, similar to Metal Gear Sold 2: Substance and Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistance. All I Know is another MGS game would be pretty damn awesome.

Upcoming Super Smash Bros. Web Series



See what happens when haX0rs invade Smash land... and the narration of this prologue! XD

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Barack Obama on David Letterman

Celebrit... I mean Senator Barack Obama appeared on David Letterman and provided some lulztastic moments. Check it out!

Obama Vows To Stop Americas Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas - TheOnion



In an appeal to working class voters, Barack Obama claimed his economic plan would save millions of backbreaking, mind-numbing shitty jobs.

The most sincere referee in the NFL... or the dumbest

Ed Hochuli, the NFL ref who botched a call at the end of the San Diego-Denver game that allowed the Broncos to keep possession and go on to score the winning points, has been receiving hundreds of e-mails from irate fans.

Even crazier? He's responding to them.

"I'm getting hundreds of emails — hate mail — but I'm responding to it all," Hochuli said in a posting on the San Diego Union-Tribune Web site. "People deserve a response.

"You can rest assured that nothing anyone can say can make me feel worse than I already feel about my mistake on the fumble play. You have no idea. ... Affecting the outcome of a game is a devastating feeling. Officials strive for perfection — I failed miserably. Although it does no good to say it, I am very, very sorry."

"No one feels worse about this than Ed, but like the coaches and players in our high-speed game, mistakes will occur," NFLRA executive director Tim Millis said in a statement.

"The NFLRA stands by Ed Hochuli as a 19-year veteran with multiple Super Bowl and countless playoff game experience who has the integrity and character to admit a mistake and accept the criticism that comes with it."

The crucial call occurred with the Broncos at the Chargers 1-yard-line in the final minute. Denver quarterback Jay Cutler dropped back to pass, the ball slipped out of his hands, bounced off the grass and into the arms of San Diego linebacker Tim Dobbins.

Hochuli, a former NFLRA president, ruled it an incomplete pass. Replay ruled it a fumble, but it was spotted at the 10, where the ball hit the ground, and given to Denver because the rules did not permit possession to be awarded to San Diego because the whistle had blown.

Denver went on to score a touchdown and a 2-point conversion to win 39-38.

Source: Fox Sports
Full Article: http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/8570534?MSNHPHCP&GT1=39002#


In related news, Ed Hochuli has resigned from the NFL and just been hired as next season's newest American Gladiator.

Sneaky cat is sneaky

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Adult Comic Strip of the Day

Slow Jerk - Whitest Kids U' Know

Matt Damon vs Sarah Palin

Matt Damon thinks that a little over two years is not enough experience to lead this country.
Matt Damon supports Barack Obama... wait... but... if a little over two years isn't enough...??? Nevermind.

In related news... I've never fully appreciated these clips until now.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Megan Fox's Lesbian Endeavors

Megan Fox isn't a lesbian, but... the 22-year-old says she had a fling with a Russian stripper four years ago in Los Angeles.

"Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided — oh man, sorry, mommy! — that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop," the Transformers star tells GQ. "I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita."

Nikita would do "these beautiful slow dances to Aerosmith ballads," Fox said. The actress brought Nikita gifts and tried to get her to leave stripping behind.

"Look, I'm not a lesbian," Fox says. "I just think that all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes.

"I mean, I could see myself in a relationship with a girl — Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands," says Fox, who is now engaged to Brian Austin Green. "She's mesmerizing. And lately I've been obsessed with Jenna Jameson, but ... oh boy."

Source(s): GQ, TVGuide
Photo Source: FHM
Full article: http://community.tvguide.com/blog-entry/TVGuide-News-Blog/Todays-News/Megan-Fox-Talks/800046764

Epic Boobs

So true, so true.

Monday, September 15, 2008

I'm an undercover cop. (Don't tell anyone.) - JohnnySmooth

Just making a video real quick before class. and yes, I've watched too much '21 Jump Street.'

Saturday, September 13, 2008

MILF of the Month (September) - Sarah Brightman

Apologies for a delayed MILF of the Month for September. We had to think long and hard (that's what she said) about this one. In the end we agreed to inject some much needed class and culture into this month's entry, and you cannot talk about classy and cultured MILFs without talking about Sarah Brightman. Sarah Brightman is most known for being a popular soprano who has cross-overed the sounds of opera into the mainstream/pop culture forum. Most notably her duet with blind tenor Andrea Bocelli, "Time to Say Goodbye/Con Te Partiro" has proven that opera is not just for the higher end of class.
Aside from her amazing... cough... lungs... Sarah Brightman was born in Berkhamsted, Hertfordshire, England (so she has got that super sexy English accent) in August 14th, 1960. Yes that's right, she's 48 years old and looks like she did when she was 20!!! At 16, in 1976, Brightman joined the dance group Pan's People, on the BBC series Top of the Pops. She left a year later to lead Hot Gossip, a mixed dance act who appeared on The Kenny Everett Video Show. The group, more provocative than Pan's People, had a disco hit in 1978 with "I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper", which sold half a million and reached number six on the UK charts.
In 1981, Brightman auditioned for the new musical Cats and received the role of Jemima. In rehearsals she met Andrew Lloyd Webber. The two married in 1984 and Brightman starred in Lloyd Webber's musicals, including Song and Dance and the mass Requiem, the latter written for her. With Requiem she earned her first Grammy nomination. Brightman starred as Christine DaaƩ in Lloyd Webber's adaptation of The Phantom of the Opera. Christine was written for her. Lloyd Webber refused to open The Phantom of the Opera on Broadway unless Brightman played Christine.
By 1990, Brightman and Lloyd Webber separated.
Since then her music career has flourished and in almost every single country in the world has attained a #1 hit. She has had her personal shares of ups and downs with love and family (multiple divorces, her father committing suicide, and her experiencing multiple miscarriages) and has always dealt with them in pride and dignity. She truly is an inspiration and is classy in every sense of the word.
For more on Sarah Brightman check out Wikipedia's entry HERE.







TV Commercials - Eric O'Shea

I just saw this, despite it being over a year old. Still quite funny.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Guitar Hero Nut shot

All I can say is, lulz.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Economists Warn Anti-Bush Product Market Close To Collapse - TheOnion

The sudden drop in demand for "Buck Fush" T-shirts and "Hail to the Chimp" posters could leave millions unemployed.

Real Life Parappa The Rapper

Need I say more?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Gordon Freeman Seen At The Large Hadron Collider???

Typically, after playing a video game, people would always engage in nerd talk, saying how cool it would be for gaming events to happen in real life. This...would not be one of them:


That would be the crowbar-wielding man himself, near the world's largest particle collider. If you don't know the whole Half-Life saga, then you only have a limited amount of time to find out before they turn on the Large Hardron Collider..... if its not already too late.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Sunday, September 7, 2008

It's The End Of The World As We Know It?

Going thought my morning ritual of reading though my news sites I came across this and got quite a kick out of it, so I thought I'd show it to all you guys.

Source - G4tv.com: The Feed: End Of The World Coming Next Week?_____________________________________________________

Dear TheFeed Readers,

This is the fourth Saturday feature I've had the pleasure of writing for you, and sadly, it may be my last. Not because I'm leaving or because TheFeed is ending it's Saturday Features or anything like that. It may be the last for entirely different reason all together:

The world might not be here next Saturday.

Don't panic. The Earth isn't being demolished in order to make space for some hyperspatial express route and nobody is coming down from the sky to taking us up to an eternal paradise of sitting on clouds and playing lyres. At least, I don't think that's happening.

The threat that is actually facing us, dear TheFeeders, is in Europe and goes by the name of the Large Hadron Collider. It's scheduled for activation on Wednesday, September 10th, and it could be the end of us all.

THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER: MORE THAN A MISSPELLED PORN TITLE

The Large Hadron Collider, which has been constructed beneath the Franco-Swiss border, not too far from Geneva, Switzerland, is the world's largest particle accelerator. That's exactly what it sounds like. The purpose of the Large Hadron Collider, or LHC, is to smash sub-atomic particles together and incredible high speeds and massive amounts of force and observe the results of these collisions.

What does smashing tiny particles (mostly protons) get us? Well, scientists are hoping to further validate and explore the possible limitations of the Standard Model, a scientific theory that explains the three primary types of interaction among particles in our universe. Along the way, physicists hope to observe the currently theoretical Higgs-Boson particle, a massless elementary particle. Yeah, that's right. It gets us some seriously nerdy answers to some hardcore deep quantum physics-type sh**.

In short, it allows us to better understand how the Universe works. Or rather, it allows the smartest people on the planet to better understand how the Universe works. Then those smart people can boil it down to some kind of metaphor about an ant crawling across the cover of book in order for us non-quantum physicists to pretend we can fathom the great mysteries of the cosmos.

So, the LHC is a good thing, right? Well, yes. But some people are worried that something could go wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong. Chances are unbelievably slim that any of these disastrous events would actually happen, and the scientists behind the LHC basically think you're dumb if you believe this stuff, but if any of them did come true, I doubt anyone would have the chance to realize it, much less say any goodbyes. We'll be exploring the possible deadly outcomes of the LHC and accompany each of them with a scientifically calculated percentile of probability.*

So, what could go wrong? Well, for a start...

"THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIST!"

Some believe that extraordinarily powerful collisions, much like the ones that will be occurring at the LHC, could possibly rip through the space-time continuum and open a door to another world, even another dimension.

Sounds pretty cool, until you think about what could come out of that gateway. I don't know about you, but I'm not really down for spending my last few days fighting off acid-shooting spiders, 30 foot tall lobsters, or devilishly creepy Sam Neills who want to tell me how awesome hell is.

CHANCE OF ACTUALLY HAPPENING: 0.000046%


PEOPLE ARE STRANGE, WHEN YOU'RE A STRANGELET

Scientists have speculated that the LHC's collisions could also result in the formation of mini black holes and strangelets. There is seems to be little debate that these particles could be produced; the only arguments tend to focus on whether these particles pose a threat to you, me, and everyone we know. Mini black holes are exactly what they sound like: Very, very, very small black holes. Unfortunately, the puppies do not come with miniature Maximillian Schells inside them. Rather, they will be microscoping collections of matter so dense that light cannot escape their gravity. Some argue that, despite their small size, their gravitational force would be great enough to cause catastrophic damage to the Earth, possibly enough to wipe out all life on the planet as we know it.

So, yeah, that would be bad.

Strangelets are an entirely different beast all together. A strangelet is an object of strange matter, made up of bound articles of equal amounts of up, down, and strange quarks. Quarks are sub-sub-atomic particles smaller even than protons and neutrons. Doomsday enthusiasts have said that when strangelets come into contact with each other, they can set off a chain reaction in which all matter in the enclosed system would be altered into strange matter. Should the Cassandras of Physics prove right, the Earth could be transformed overnight into a Quasar.

CHANCE OF ACTUALLY HAPPENING: 23% (23%? Sure! Why not?)


QUANTUM LEAPS

The last of our hypothetical ends of civilization is also the most bizarre. Some scientists believe that the collisions in LHC could result in the formation of a particle that behaves with an almost perfect sense of self-destruction. These particles are not bound by time and bounce back and forth through time the way light can bounce around a room. These particles will naturally bounce through time, and will be drawn back, almost like a magnet, to their point of creation, where they will undo their own creation. Confusing, I know.

The real effect of this occurrence is debatable. Some believe it would simply appear that the Hadron Collider has failed to work properly. Some think it will appear to have a normal collision that is uneventful. And others still think that these particles could create a temporal loop where the same minuscule section of time between the creation of the particles and their own unbirth would be repeated over and over and over again. And none of us would be able to understand that it was happening. I don't know about you, but that's some serious Star Trek sh** right there.

CHANCE OF ACTUALLY HAPPENING: 3%


So, maybe this will be my last Saturday feature, maybe not. I sure hope not. I really just wanted to right this so in case the world ends on Wednesday in a matter of seconds, the last thought across the minds of people all over the world would be: Wow, TheFeed got this one right!

Goodnight, goodluck, and see you next Saturday?

*we picked numbers that look pretty.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

A new job for Greg Gallows...

Greg Gallows found a new job... and a new way to get fired from putting up a YouTube video... AGAIN!!!

greggers: oh my god
greggers: THAT IS ME
greggers: how did they get my shit?!?!?

Equal rights in India

Equal rights in India mean a whole different thing than equal rights in America, as shown in this reality series called "Dadagiri."


NOTE: Dadagiri is a reality show in which the contestants must revisit the horrors of being bullied on the first day of school for three rounds and win cash prizes in the end.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Show Me Your Genitals 2: E=MC VAGINA

Rock Band & Guitar Hero News

Last week it was revealed that six full albums are coming as Rock Band 2 downloadable content, and the names of those albums are:

Foo Fighters (The Colour and the Shape)
Red Hot Chili Peppers (Blood Sugar Sex Magik)
Jane's Addiction (Nothing's Shocking)
Megadeth (Peace Sells... But Who's Buying)
Stevie Ray Vaughn (Texas Flood)
A compiled-just-for-Rock-Band best of No Doubt collection


The 7th full album that was also on the list, the Rock Band edition of Rush’s classic album Moving Pictures, has been delayed due to technical difficulties.

In Guitar Hero news, Nineties uber-group Smashing Pumpkins will debut their newest single as downloadable content for music game Guitar Hero World Tour, Activision announced. The song, "G.L.O.W.", will come in a track pack with "1979" and "The Everlasting Gaze" slated for a "post-launch" release.

Smashing Pumpkin's frontman Billy Corgan is set to be a playable character in the game, and SP hits "Today" and "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" will be included with the game.

This is the confrimed list of songs that will be on Guitar Hero: World Tour:

Airbourne - "Too Much Too Young..."
Bob Seger - "Hollywood Nights"
Dinosaur Jr. - "Feel The Pain"
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - "Weapon of Choice"
Silversun Pickups - "Lazy Eye"
Survivor - "Eye of the Tiger"
Black Label Society - "Stillborn"
Metallica - "Trapped Under Ice"
System of a Down - "B.Y.O.B.
Blink 182 - "Dammit"
Linkin Park - "What I've Done"
Paramore - "Misery Business"
The Doors - "Love Me Two Times"
The Eagles - "Hotel California"
Ozzy Osbourne - "Crazy Train"
Ozzy Osbourne - "Mr. Crowley"
Van Halen - "Hot for Teacher"
Jimi Hendrix - "Purple Haze (Live, 1969)"
Jimi Hendrix - "The Wind Cries Mary"
At the Drive-In - "One Armed Scissor"
Sublime - "Santeria"
Billy Idol - "Rebel Yell"
Foo Fighters - "Everlong"
Steve Miller Band - "The Joker"
Interpol - "Obstacle 1"
The Doors - "Light My Fire"
Michael Jackson - "Beat It"
Linkin Park - "In The End"
Smashing Pumpkins - "Bullet with Butterfly Wings"
Lenny Kravitz - "Are You Gonna Go My Way"
The Answer - "Never Too Late"
"Prisoner of Society" by The Living End
"La Bamba" by Los Lobos
"Scream Aim Fire" by Bullet for My Valentine
"Our Truth" by Lacuna Coil
Motorhead - "Overkill"
The Sex Pistols - "Pretty Vacant"
MC5 - "Kick Out the Jams"

Anyone Can Get The Blue Screen

The Blue Screen of Death can hit anyone, anytime. Above are rock band Nine Inch Nails having some...technical difficulties.


Thursday, September 4, 2008

Being A Detective Who Talks To Ghosts Not As Exciting As TV - TheOnion

On Today Now! paranormal detective Leonard Higgs explains that using ghosts to solve crimes actually involves a lot of paperwork.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Lingerie FootBall League makes a Comeback! - sXePhil

Best show intro ever.



Be sure to get ready for more BBK:
http://youtube.com/bambamkaboosh

Stalk Me:
http://myspace.com/youtubephil
http://twitter.com/phillyd

Stories:
All big d*ck jokes came from my new favorite twitterer http://twitter.com/mybigdick

LFL: http://tinyurl.com/5psmug
Evil Insects: http://tinyurl.com/6flf8t
Poor Biden: http://tinyurl.com/58ox4l
Racist Guy: http://tinyurl.com/5tpqx9

Tuesday, September 2, 2008