Sunday, July 26, 2009

S. Darko Movie Review

Fans of the movie Donnie Darko may have heard of the straight to DVD sequel about Donnie's little sister, S. Darko. I have been afraid to watch this, because I like the original so much and I hadn't heard any real stellar reviews of the sequel, but I thought I would give it a shot anyhow.

Up to the minute review :

23 minutes in : Is that the same girl from the original? Nah, couldn't be (Edit: It was her, i'll be damned). Really overacted stereotypical characters. Is that Jessie from Saved by the Bell? Creepy, Creepy, Interesting. Is that a Jake Gyllenhaal lookalike?

43 minutes in : That IS Jessie from Saved By the Bell! Weird for the sake of being weird. Kind of sort of maybe starting to see where this could expand on the mythology of the original. Warm beer and dry humping to Journey. OMG That chick is wearing a Daniel Johnston shirt!

52 minutes in: It's probably not all the acting's fault, it's probably mostly the scriptwriters. You can only work with what you're given, really. My biggest fear is that they will take this in a direction they can't write themselves out of later.

1 hr 17minutes in: Kinda predictable, lots of plays on the original so far but not in the right ways.

1hr 27 min: *Headdesk*

End : This might very possibly be the worst ending of a movie I have ever seen in my entire life. I was willing to forgive the lack of coherent plot line up to this point, if it all came through at the end. But it didn't, it totally bombed.

Only watched Credits to see who writer/director were. Nathan Atkins and Chris Fisher, I hope you both die in a fire.

Recap : If you like Donnie Darko, do not ever watch this movie for any reason ever.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Attracting Women 101

Step 1 : The Clothes.

wolf t-shirt Pictures, Images and Photos

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called meth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts HB10s
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

World of Warcraft Commercial - Night Elf Priest(itute)

the sad story of a hard-core holy priest(ess).